Monday 27th July 2009 - Forgot to revise!

I have my theory test tomorrow. Again. I enjoyed passing it so much the first time around, I've decided I'm going to do it again! What a cock! And by that a mean the cock right there

I completely forgot to revise properly for it, so it's safe to say that I'm actually crudding myself about it. I mean, can you actually imagine if I failed my theory driving test! I'd be the laughing stock of the whole universe! I'd actually have to kill myself. To amuse you (as it did me), here's two sample theory test questions and one I made up! See if you can guess which is the false one!

Question 1:
You are driving down a main road and a long vehicle is pulling out a side road on the left ahead of you. What should you do?

• A) Slow down and give way
• B) Speed up and try to squeeze through the gap
• C) Sound your horn and flash your hazards
• D) Report the driver to the police

Question 2:
You are driving at night when the lights from the vehicle behind begin to dazzle you. What should you do?

• A) Set your mirror to anti-dazzle
• B) Try and speed away
• C) Flash your lights repeatedly
• D) Put your hands over your eyes

Question 3:
You are naked at night with a blow up doll in the passanger seat. You are wearing a captains hat and you have a paddle. The police flash you to pull over. Do you;

• A) Speed away, showing your exit hole through your wing-mirror
• B) Sell the doll and all drugs in the car to the officer
  
• C) Tell him you're late for a potato
• D) Pull over and pretend to be taking the doll to the hospital

OK, it's fairly easy to work out which one isn't true, because I'm rather silly and I stole it from an Ellen DeGeneres DVD I have, but still... some of the questions are pretty fucking stupid. And that's why I cannot fail! And that's why I'm going to revise and I'm leaving you with a clip of the aforementioned Ellen! I recommend this to any stand-up fans. She's very good! Like a female lesbian Eddie Izzard! Work that out if you can. BYES!

M xxx

(btw - if you don't know who Ellen is, she did the voice of Dory in Nemo... as well as being a huge Hollywood name!)