Wednesday 15th July 2009 - Jackson's dead!?

Ok, so I haven't been living under a rock or nuffin! But it had occurred to me that the chaps dwelling in positive poverty in the Big Bother house (that's not a typo) didn't know about the death of an icon. So when they found out it brought back all those emotions and reactions that everyone else felt as one. But because we all felt them at the same time, it probably didn't hit home as much as watching a bunch of complete strangers finding out. He affected everyone in some way. Everyone knew who he was, and he was a great humanitarian on the face of things. I guess it's not for us to speculate about what he did and when he did it and who with, but he stood in court twice and was found not guilty twice. So I intend to just enjoy his wonderful music and performances and look forward to telling future generations about his magic on screen and on stage. And that's all I gotta say!

Today was a good day in a sense, because the boss is off now for over a week. I will miss him terribly. Or wonderfully. Yes, the second one! We get along alright, but then so did Eva Braun with Hitler and he still shot her in the head, so whatcha gonna do!?

I was searching through some old stuff the other day on an account I had on a site called My... something. Space? Does anyone still use that? Facebook kinda cacked all over it really didn't it! Anyway, I was writing some short stories and stuff. Here's one of the shortest ones! (That's a blessing, believe me).

Doctor... How is he?

Joseph: So doctor... How is he?

Doctor: Stable.

Joseph: Oh, thank goodness.

Doctor: What?

Joseph: I'm so happy.

Doctor: Why?

Joseph: Because he's stable.

Doctor: Oh, I'm sorry... did you say HOW is he? I thought you said WHERE is he.

Joseph: But you said he was stable.

Doctor: No... I meant he's in a stable.

Joseph: He's in a stable? Why?

Doctor: He's dead and the morgue is full.

Joseph: Oh dear God... This is awful.

Doctor: I know. But we're trying to get it sorted.

Joseph: Well, I don't think you'll be able to bring him back to life will you?

Doctor: Oh I'm sorry... I was talking about the morgue situation.

Joseph: You're the worst doctor ever.

Doctor: Yeah.


THE END.

Isn't that amazing?! No? Well f*** you then! I'm gonna send it to someone, somewhere. I'm sure Channel 5 will take it. They'll take any old tat!

I just want to clear something up... I don't watch big brother as a rule. It was just on! Grace was here and she demanded I watch it, and eventually I gave in. But know this, I'm very cross about it. Very cross indeed. As soon as it finishes I'm turning it off.

Quote of the day:

"Seeing is believing so you'd better change your specs"

- Shaggy, it wasn't me! Awful song. When he had a greatest hits CD out I assumed it would be a blank disc.

Monday 13th July 2009 - Where you keep your plug sockets dudes?

Back to work today. The day job. The one where I'd rather stick my face in the paper shredder than stay there doing bugger all, for bugger all, for no buggering thanks and no buggering sense of self esteem. I like it. The boss is on holiday for ten days from Thursday, which means we all get a ten week holiday from the Nazi regime and his poor pregnant wife has to deal with it all on her own in a Potugese villa. Rather her than me.


Anyway, once the bell went for home time I was collected by my driver (and, I'm very proud to say, lover) and I stopped by at the radio station to do a few work related things there. We have a new cleaning team at work. The main one, Mrs Doyle (ah go on father) is away on her holidays at the moment, probably apologising to people and making things smell of gummy bears. She's good at that. Actually, I don't think it is gummy bears. It's the cheaper, wobblier sweets that used to come in their own packages. Like these ones. Delicious spiders. Yummo.



Anyway, her replacement while she's away is a nice young ladywho has nearly got the hang of the hoover, so that's probably a good thing. Her opening question to us in the office was 'Where do you keep your plug sockets dudes?'



Dudes? Do people still use that as a term of endearment? It was, to say the least, odd. She didn't suit the phrase 'dudes'. She didn't really suit the gift of speech to be honest. In the words of Henry Higgins, she committed the cold blooded murder of the English tongue. Bitch.



Off to the football for us in the perfect conditions of rain, wind and anger. My anger. Nothing quite like watching your friends get battered in the rain is there. I'll be honest, I do take a slight amount of joy from watching them get ritually humiliated, but there's only so much one man can take, so my heart was full of hope for the boys tonight. I can't reveal the final score until tomorrow, and I'll upload the link to the match review then too. I get the honour of writing that as they assumed I wouldn't want to play... they assumed right!



So for now, to bed to read some more of my new book. I surprised myself by getting through a good quarter of it last night. I'll attempt the same tonight. I reccommend heartily.



Until then, I'll bid you adieu and see you tomorrow. Appreciate you reading by the way. Tell your friends and make it worthwhile for me to keep updating.



Peace n love.

M xxx