It seems like a perfectly good day to start an online diary. Why wouldn't you start a diary on July 12th? I used to keep a hand written diary, years ago, before I had 24 hour internet access. Remember the days when you had to go to the internet cafe to send an email to someone about something. I used to use one when I lived in Looe in Cornwall that was next to this amazing sandwich and pastry shop. God they did good duck and plum sauce baguettes. Anyway, I digress.
I used to keep a day to day diary and I kept it for over 3 years. I intend to blog retro diary entries so you can see what I was up to in c.2003. I bet you can't wait. I'll leave that carrot dangling while I tell you about my day today, as I intend to do throughout... well, time in general.
An early start for me today as it always is on a Sunday. I present a radio show every Sunday morning which is rather blasphemically titled Martin's Sunday Sermon. It is entirely nothing to do with anything ecclesiastical and is actually just me slagging off pointless people like Kerry Catatonia and Katie Priceless (I know that if you're reading this outside of the UK, this will mean bugger all to you... as will the phrase bugger all. But thanks for reading). I play lots of delightful music too. Except for the ones I'm forced to play like the new one from Take That (the musical equivalent of finding a cockroach in your trouser pocket) or Lady Gaga (what's she for... I don't think I get it!).
The show runs from 8-12noon and after using the words 'bisexual' and 'gimp' in the same link, I climbed into my car and set off home. Now, I must tell you about my car troubles. I only passed my test in March 2008 at the age of 26. I never bothered to learn to drive earlier because I never needed to know how to, I always lived were I worked and was drunk quite a lot. Anyway, passed 2nd time, all was good. I drove for a year without ever having any accidents or problems. After a year, it all went horribly wrong.
I moved house in September 2008 and did all the things you're meant to. TV Licence address, gas, water, phone, bank etc... At least I thought I'd done it all. Turns out I forgot to change my car insurance details. Never to worry though, I was paying by direct debit which automatically renews itself... surely? Well, no. It didn't, so I was cruising around in my saxo (Ben) when I was pulled by the police and done for driving without insurance, which cost me a £200 fine, £170 to get my car out of the pound, 6 points on my driving licence and because I'd been driving for less that 2 years, my licence was revoked. Basically, I was fucked. Then a couple of days later I got a speeding fine for doing 37mph in a 30mph zone. That cost either 3 more points and £60 or £80 and a speed awareness course.
I applied to do the course, but couldn't because I didn't have a driving licence. So instead I had to put 3 more points on the licence that I don't have. Then I had to reapply for my provisional licence (£50) and apply for both my theory and practical tests again. So that's just superb isn't it.
Because of all this, the place where I am at the moment is thus; I can drive as long as someone is with me who has been driving for 5 years or more and I have to wear my 'L' plates. Degrading? Yes. I have a driving lesson on Thursday. A LESSON! I've been driving now for 2 years. Lesson... phuh!
Anyway. It doesn't matter. I'm over it. It just cost me lots of money... come to think of it, I still owe my mother 4 hundred quid. Back to today though. I got home and instantly went to bed. It's very rare that I'll sleep during the day, but I felt knackered today so climbed into the pit and stayed there. For a few hours. When I arose it was time to make dinner. Salmon fillets (which insisted on setting off the smoke alarm repeatedly), roast potatoes and sweetcorn. Buttered. The whole thing, smothered in butter. There's something so satisfying about eating food smothered in butter and watching athletics or something equally as demanding. All the hairy, muscled, moustached athletes. And that's just the women. Then a bit of Top Gear with world's fastest man Usain Bolt. He's so cool. He had two portions of chicken nuggets on the day he broke the world record in the 100 metres. And his shoelace was undone! Brilliant.
Gonna have a read of my new book which Chelsea (one of the best buds) got me for my birthday. It's called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon. Looks rather interesting. In a way. I don't read a lot anymore, which is criminal I know. I've been wading through the QI book since Christmas. That's how much of a reader I am.
Football tomorrow. The Bee Team play the Grumpy Old Men FC who are currently second in the league. We may be blessed by the presence of Grace (the other Best bud) and her boyfriend Matthew. They hate footie almost as much as I do, but there's something so satisfying about watching friends and colleagues get their arses whoooped every week. Beautiful.
Quote of the Day:
John Inverdale: "You must have got so annoyed watching his rear end so often"
Tony Jarrett: "Well, to be honest, it was hard"
John Inverdale interviewing world 110m hurdles silver medal winner Tony Jarrett about constantly getting beaten by Colin Jackson.
oday! The one I told you about last week... remember?! Basically it was for an employment agency who are gonna help me find a way out of the concentration camp I work in at the moment! I had to do some tests and stuff. I've done more exams today than I've ever done in my whole entire life, since I was 18! I had to do some data inputting and I got 100% on my accuracy. Stick that in your peep and smike it!
